Wednesday, May 31, 2006

I Need a Vacation - Swimming with Orcas

Guys, I'm tired. Really tired. The comments are totally out of control... the friggin' ARAVOSISblog Comment Review Committee isn't pulling its weight... Rob, Joe and Chris won't shut up about getting paid. ("When are the checks starting, when are the checks starting." I'm like, guys, chill. It'll happen. Remember back when you thought it was just cool that hundreds of thousands of people were reading your posts?) Bunch of prima donnas.

I'm trying to hold out for ARAVOSISblog 2.0, but until then I can only threaten people with "banned for life" -- I can't follow through! It's totally draining me and taking away my ability to provide you with the thoughtful and insightful commentary you've come to expect. Anyway, what I'm saying is, my Amsterdam vacay seems like it was eons ago, and I think it's time for ol' Johnny A-List to recharge the batts.

As you all know, what really helps me relax is getting back to nature and spending time observing beautiful orcas. I've long wanted to do something like this Orca Killer Whale Safari in Lapland--"For the more adventurous there is even an opportunity to swim with Killer Whales." !!!

Anyone know somebody on the Finnish board of tourism? Here's how it works: they organize a "trip of bloggers" and fly me over, I stick their ad on the blog for a while, and then you guys get to read about my trip to Finland for a week. It's a win-win-win situation! Thing is, they'll probably float me the ticket, but I may be responsible for meals and day-to-day expenses. Now, I know we just had fundraising week, but that revenue stream has already been allocated to salaries, overhead, and the state of the art banning software for ARAVOSISblog 2.0.

I don't want to ask too much from you guys, but as you know, this blog is my only source of income and I would reeeeeeeeeeeeally like to do this. Would you guys be willing to kick in a few more bucks to help Johnny go swim with killer whales?

Remember, what reinvigorates Johnny reinvigorates America!


Anonymous Orangina Tangelino said...

Frist! Fitz! Dude!

Yippee!! I pledge my unborn daughters as whores in perpetuity to help finance your good works! Take plenty of pictures. I love the Orca!

9:00 AM  
Blogger clonecone said...

I know I risk banning, but how do you plan to keep your eye on the ball all the way from Europe? Or do you plan to do some European ball watching?

9:10 AM  
Anonymous Rita said...

Write yourself another huge, exhausting, four or five sentence comment - this time on how global warming is detrimental to Orcas - and I'm taking out yet another mortgage to help support you. You are worth every late-payment warning I receive. Bless you!

9:19 AM  
Anonymous *snickers* said...

I simply cannot wait for Friday night orchid "blogging!!" I can't wait to tell you all about how much I love orchids but can't afford them...

9:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, it took a few posts, but I feel it was well worth it:

Banned by webmaster. Your comments will not be added

Only thing is, I can't imagine what it was I said that prompted this response.

Scathing editorial on Santorum in the Pittsburgh paper

Thank you Johnny! I feel I'm in good company.

10:04 AM  
Blogger clonecone said...

Scathing editorial on Santorum in the Pittsburgh paper

Wow, atrios and kos stole your post days ago! How do they know what you're going to post hours and even days before you actually put fingers to keyboard? I hope Americablog XP has better security functions which will prevent this plagiarism-before-the-fact. Get your tech guy on it. I hear he's mega smart.

10:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well if you want a vacation- then a vacation you shall have!

Personally, I don't get vacations. I have to put in long hours in order to reach my billable hour requirement (that's a lawyer term for those of us who went to law school and now actually practice law), but I am willing to spend my hard-earned money on you Johnny A, just so you can remain fresh and keep your eyes on the ball! After all, writing “open thread” 3 or 4 times a day must be exhausting!

10:41 AM  
Anonymous Chris In Paris said...

When I made my first ARAVOSISblog post it *was* cool. I was like, "this is so cool." But now it feels like real work - whatever that is. Do you know how hard it is to drum a foreign perspective into Americans? It's like I've seen red and blue and they've only seen red. They can't wrap their little heads around blue no matter what. That's why I need a paycheck.

11:44 AM  
Anonymous KathyF said...

Chris in Paris can be replaced. How does KathyF in London sound?

But I forget--I'm a girl.

Ah well. Here's another $50. Maybe this will pacify the french.

12:27 PM  
Anonymous KathyF said...

Chris in Paris can be replaced. How does KathyF in London sound?

But I forget--I'm a girl.

Ah well. Here's another $50. Maybe this will pacify the french.

12:27 PM  
Anonymous kathyF said...

Besides, I have an annoying habit of double posting.

Does this get me banned?

12:28 PM  
Blogger eRobin said...

No A-Lister should be denied the opportunity to swim with giant killer fish. Here's another $50 plus an extra latte for some flippers.

2:19 PM  
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