Saturday, May 20, 2006

You Can Come Back Now--I Banned All the Girls

Dear reader,

Johnny here. I'd like to take a step back for a moment and thank you for coming to this blog. I hope you continue to enjoy yourself here--and I'm sure you will because I am one of the most dedicated and engaging activists I know. As always, I encourage you to leave comments--I definitely want this to seem like a place where open discussion is encouraged! The ONLY thing I ask is that you follow the one ground rule, which is very simple. Don't be rude. There's nothing worse than people getting overly passionate about things they care about and crossing the line into rudeness. I will tolerate a lot of things, but not rudeness.

As long as you're not rude, you can come back all the time--in fact, I hope you come back VERY often, for a lot of reasons! For one thing, that's how I make money--more traffic to the ads on the site means more money in Johnny's pocket. I know, I hate to even bring it up, but those are the facts of life. Everybody needs money to get by and as you may have realized by now, it's extra important that I'm able to get by because my thoughts on the issues of the day are so vitally important. NOTE: PLEASE don't take that the wrong way--I'm sure you think your thoughts are important too, but I just happen to be better than most people at keeping my eye on the ball, and knowing at all times what the most important thing to be discussing is. (After all, that's why I'M the blogger and YOU'RE the commenter!)

But I digress. My point is, please continue to come back here repeatedly to begin fresh user sessions and to make yourself at home. You can even load the page in the middle of the night--I've got a dude in France who posts crap all night long so there's always something for you to look at! (FRESH CONTENT is the name of the blogging game, my friends, or my name isn't Johnny A.)

Now, you may be wondering--where have all the other posts gone? You're probably saying, Johnny A., haven't you been blogging for several years now with steadily rising traffic numbers and to widespread acclaim? Why is this the only post here on Aravosisblog.com? And the site's format is all off, too. What's up?

If you are asking yourself that, then it is clear that you weren't a visitor to my site, Aravosisblog.com, late last night. I'm sorry to say it got kind of unpleasant around here yesterday evening. I don't want to get back into it now, but let's just say some of my readers (if they even WERE my readers--they seemed an awful lot like REPUBLICAN TROLLS to me) were having a little bit of trouble keeping their eyes on the ball. They took the discussion in a direction I didn't even want it to go. (I KNOW!) So I was forced to delete a few comments. Actually, it was around a thousand or so. Two threads worth. And then I cherry-picked a few from some other threads, too. Oh, and then I banned a whole bunch of people.

Wow. Looking at it written down like that, it seems kind of harsh. I admit, it was a drastic step, and I thought long and hard about it, but what could I do? Of the thousand comments, there were a good 15 or 16 that were downright rude. You know my rule. That's right. NO RUDENESS.

To tell you the truth, though, the deleting wasn't so hard once I got going, because some of these comments didn't paint me in a very flattering light. Don't get me wrong--I'm totally fine with that normally... but if comments are going to be rude (or if they're going to be next to other comments that are rude)--well they simply have to be deleted. It's like I always say: Johnny A. doesn't like to delete comments, but if Johnny A. doesn't rule Aravosisblog.com with an iron fist, who will?

Fortunately though, now that I've banned the lot of them, they seem to be staying away. That's right--they gave up! Just like the bunch of BIG GIRLS they are (wink, wink). Which only goes to prove that I was right all along: Those people were not here for the right reasons. They were not here for what Aravosisblog.com is all about. (Know what that is? Sure you do! I don't even have to say it.)

(Johnny A!)

But back to why all the old posts are gone. After deleting the comments I didn't like, I started looking at other old threads and, I'm devastated to report, I found several instances of rudeness. (And I'm even sorrier to report, I also found more instances of comments that weren't painting me in a very flattering light.) So I decided to delete EVERYTHING for the time being until I can rework it and rebuild it so it's perfect. I've begun the process of reviewing every post and comment with a fine-toothed comb, as it were. It may take a while, but it will all be worth it because after I'm done, Aravosisblog.com will be as pure and pristine as it deserves to be, consisting only of what keeps bringing you guys back every day: Me! (Johnny A.)

Now, you may asking, Johnny, isn't there more important stuff you could be doing with your time than going through a bunch of posts and looking for rude comments (and comments which happen to be next to rude comments) and banning people? As a world-class blogger and activist, don't you have better things to be doing?

Here's a straight answer for you, friend: No! What could be more important than this? The country is having an important dialogue right now. As one of the very highest trafficked liberal bloggers, I play an important part in shaping and controlling that dialogue. If I let the discussion on my site veer off into nonsense about, say, I don't know... degrading a group of people that throughout history has had to fight for equality under the law and equality in the eyes of their fellow human beings... or.... my willingness or unwillingness to admit when I'm wrong--well! You get the point. We can't have that.

So don't worry, I should have the old stuff sorted and culled sometime in 2007. Meanwhile, sit back, relax, and most importantly: keep coming back to the site every hour and we'll have a new post for you--even if there's nothing really important going on. We'll get you all riled up every hour on the hour, or my name isn't... well, you know! ;)

Your favorite blogger,

Johnny


ps. Keep your eyes on the ball!!

pps. Don't act like a girl!

ppps. Visit the online store!

17 Comments:

Blogger Everyday Activist said...

Love it!

8:16 PM  
Blogger The Blog said...

LOL. Welcome to the blogging world.

8:35 PM  
Blogger kactus said...

Great--but you need more run-on sentences and feigned outrage. And you need to lecture us about how we voted for so-and-so, now we're stuck with so-and-so. And you could threaten to boycott things, too. That's always a hoot. Wield your mighty internet muscles, John!

9:59 PM  
Blogger sopranospinner said...

Too funny!

9:30 AM  
Blogger Johnny A-List said...

Funny? I don't get it. What is funny? Are you trying to start something, because I WILL NOT HESITATE TO BAN YOU if I think you are. This post was not about funny stuff. Please stick to the topic at hand. You have been warned.

-John

ps. CHECK OUT OUR NEW T-SHIRTS-- perfect for Father's Day!

11:00 AM  
Blogger KayInMaine said...

John! I love ya sweetheart...and I'm a big girl. :-) Well, I now have this site on my 'favorites', because, well, you're my favorite. I get your sense of humor and your angling and that is why....for the moment...I didn't get banned for your..well...you know...your MAMMOTH site. LOL

12:11 PM  
Anonymous KathyF said...

Hiya, John...um, I was thinking, how's that new Mac of yours? It's been a few months...don't ya think it's time for an upgrade?

Time to go blegging! I wouldn't want you to do all this hard work of deleting comments on an old Mac...oh, what the heck, here's $50 to get things started.

And...maybe you could work up some t-shirts that say "I'm John Aravosis' BIG GIRL!" I'd buy like three.

Now get back to work. Give Katherine Harris my best!

1:15 PM  
Anonymous Pinko Punko said...

More T-shirt blogging please.

2:17 PM  
Anonymous Chris in Paris said...

Come visit a restaurant here in Paris, all your shirts will reek of cigarette smoke when you're done then you'll have to visit our online store for new shirts to replace those horrid stinky ones you wore here in Paris which really stinks of smoke everywhere because everybody just smokes in all the restaurants all the time and that just makes your shirts stink even worse.

2:26 PM  
Blogger Everyday Activist said...

Now I LOVE this blog!

3:35 PM  
Blogger Everyday Activist said...

Yes John, do give Kathy Harris kisses and cuddles from me too!

3:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

T Shirt Ideas!

John Aravosis, the other gay whore.

What do you get when you cross Orca with a penguin?

John Aravosis in a tux.

John Aravosis, the poor man's Andrew Sullivan.

3:56 PM  
Anonymous RachelPhilPa said...

Hi, John, its Rachel. Ya know, you were totally, absolutely right to ban me. After I read over my post, I would have banned myself!

Anyway, I am now totally repentent. I will from now on, post nothing but totally reverent hosannas to your absolutely wonderfully intelligent miso....hey! how'd that get in there!...erudite misogy...oh my god, I'm losing control, make me stop!...incisive misogynistic...I've totally lost control...please ban me for my own good...

5:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is good Rachel, repent. Now, you girl you.

6:31 PM  
Anonymous Gideon S. said...

John said:
Funny? I don't get it. What is funny? Are you trying to start something, because I WILL NOT HESITATE TO BAN YOU if I think you are. This post was not about funny stuff. Please stick to the topic at hand. You have been warned.

That's right, folks! Disse--er, RUDENESS will not be tolerated. After all this, this is the left-wing blogosphere, and all liberals must think EXACTLY the same thoughts.

Our Constitution is on life support, after all.

Praise our Glorious Leader, King John!

(Sorry if I'm heaping on too much praise, John; I just love you so much. Call me!)

7:18 PM  
Blogger Johnny A-List said...

Hey. rachelphilpa. Guess what? BANNED. That's right. You're RE-banned. I have instructed you to MOVE ON, and if you won't do it, you have been made aware of the consequences, and if you find another computer to log in from, I will ban you for a third time, or a fourth time, or as many times as it takes, until you realize that THIS BLOGGER MEANS BUSINESS. I have informed Rob, Joe and Chris that they'll have to meet our daily post quota without me because I've gotta spend a little time taking out the trash.

So go ahead. Make my day.

8:46 PM  
Blogger Kate R said...

so when are you going to ERASE THIS THREAD? c'mon already.

4:29 PM  

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