Thursday, June 01, 2006

The Associated Press Won't Know What Hit It

For those of you that haven't been paying attention recently, it's okay: Johnny A-List has his eyes on the ball. The big news in American politics is NOT the House/Senate negotiations on immigration, NOT today's Rolling Stone election fraud piece (sorry eRobin), NOT the upcoming Senate vote on Estate Tax repeal, and NOT the Army Corps of Engineers report released today detailing crucial failures....

The REALLY big news is that an Associated Press (AP) reporter just wrote a couple of bad stories, so today we're preparing to challenge AP's entire business and livelihood. We are going to really GET these guys. And if AP isn't scared, then they don't know JOHNNY A-LIST.

By the way, I am truly sorry if you've enjoyed their articles in the past, but the Associated Press is now the enemy. I know it's weird--a couple of minutes ago A.P. was kool and the gang, but things can change on a dime these days--that's why it's a good thing you have Johnny A-List on the case!

(A tough case it is, though--for not only must we fight A.P., we must contend with the wingnuts who can't stop accusing AP of liberal bias. (Although... wait a minute... if we get conservatives to boycott along with us, that'll REALLY stick it to A.P....)) Whatever, I'll figure it out. Just sit tight.

AND REMEMBER: TalkingPointsMemo may have tracked down the story, but Blogger-Activist Johnny A-List organized the protest! (Direct all media inquiries to Johnny A-List at

Damn it, we're really gonna make some NOISE on this one, just like we did with Chris Matthews. And if AP isn't worried? if they think they can just ignore this? that it will all just fade away? ... THEN THEY DON'T KNOW WHO THEY'RE DEALING WITH.

(Johnny A-List!!!)

America's #1 Ball Watcher

PS. AP really puts the 'AP' in "CRAP," wouldn't you say? HA HA. Associated MESS, more like it! Are you with me?!? WHO'S WITH ME!!?!?


Blogger clonecone said...

"Seriously, this is the kind of thing we do for a living, folks. And we win. The Associated Press isn't going to know what hit it."

Great piece of writing there Johnny A. The AP won't know what hit it because they won't know they've been hit. Being a life long dem I can recognize a losing battle when I see one.

There are bigger balls to watch. Big sweaty republican balls.

9:35 PM  
Anonymous j said...

I like it, I like it. Post title changed to reflect it.

9:45 PM  
Anonymous Adcmo said...

Out the AP! Out the AP!...oh yeah...maybe if I get that French guy to do it.

9:52 PM  
Anonymous Gideon S. said...

Completely off-topic, but June is Gay and Lesbian Pride Month, but I don't see a mention of that at AMERICAblog.

Nor was it explicitly-mentioned last year (two posts linking to stories about Toronto's Gay Pride festival on 6/26 and 6/27 don't really count). And it wasn't mentioned in June of 2004, either.

Shouldn't someone who's made a name for himself by championing GLBT causes mention a month dedicated to GLBT history and culture?

Just a thought. You know, in case your busy-busy life caused you to forget, this year.


10:00 PM  
Blogger eRobin said...

NOT today's Rolling Stone election fraud piece (sorry eRobin),

Damn you, Johhny A-List!

10:02 PM  
Anonymous Jeff said...

Frist! So Frist. I'm Frist! Whoo hoo!

10:18 PM  
Anonymous Jeff said...


10:19 PM  
Blogger kactus said...

I see Aravosis has finally gotten around to mentioning the Isahaqi massacre, more than two months after it happened and after other bloggers (including myself) covered it. The only reason it's getting any mention now is because of Haditha.

10:24 PM  
Blogger tetedur said...

Yea! You go,, uh, girl...mmmmm........I'd like to invoke the 'gay vernacular' defense, here.

Watch it, AP, Johnny's "all that" and he's gotten sand in his vulva over such things as this before and people have suffered!

Ooooh, you gonna git it!
(sorry about the 'vulva' thing...'gay vernacular' again!)

10:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey! Weren't there more comments in this thread before? Is some sort of computer glitch erasing comments?

11:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd been wondering what happened to that Chris Matthews battle. It was like it fell into a black hole or something....

11:31 PM  
Anonymous Chris In Paris said...

Given the Parisian expertise that I have and you wished you had, I was surprised to see French youths rioted again. Then I realized it was an AP story. If the AP reported it, it didn't happen. Hurry and write your congressman and have him pass legislature to ban the AP!

8:33 AM  
Blogger Anonymous said...

Johnny A-List,

You need to get off your rocker and begin writing your tell-all insider's political memoir before one of those A-List wannabe beotches steals that idea as well and writes it for you. This is a cut throat business you know. You snooze, you lose.

Miss Cleo's receptionist

8:34 AM  
Anonymous Jeff said...

Johnny A-list. I snagged the main phone number for the Associated Press with the crack investigative skills I've learned from YOU on this blog. (Actually I googled it).

Here it is: +1-212-621-1500

Phone them now and complain!!!

8:39 AM  
Blogger beervolcano said...

You ask "Fourth, what's the best way to impact AP's overall reputation? Protests outside their office, advertisements in industry publications? Where's their soft spot?"

I can only tell you where my soft spot is. Besides, how can you be a ball watcher and be concerned with thier soft spot too? I guess that's only for the A-list to understand.

Keep up the great work, Johnny! We're all pulling (and tugging) for you!

10:00 AM  
Anonymous KathyF said...

Wow. I love the way you use cliches. Have you ever thought about writing a novel?

Here's another $50, from someone who knows a good cliche when she sees it.

10:18 AM  

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