Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Look, It's None of Your Business How Much I Pay Myself

Guys, this is important: If I thought it were important to elaborate on how I allocate your financial contributions within the growing ARAVOSISblog empire, I would have told you already.

JaneofTheUrbanJungle left a comment last night saying she'd like to contribute, but wanted to know how much I pay myself in salary from the contributions. She thought that this was a "fair question." Actually, it was the "wrong" question. So I helped her out by stating the question she should actually be asking. Rather than allow my brilliant response to stay buried in the comments, I thought it best to repost it here, front and center, so that everyone can benefit:

Jane, the question actually is how much this product is worth to you.

You don't ask reporters how much they make before buying the New York Times. And you don't ask Nestle how much they earn before buying a candy bar. You pay what they ask based on whether you think the product is worth it...

If the writing and activism and community experience we've created is worth a latte a day to you, then that's what it's worth. If it's not worth anything to you, then don't give.
Is this clear, everyone? All I expect is to be treated like the New York Times, nothing more, nothing less. And a latte per day is NOTHING. What, $3 for a latte, times 30 days in month, times 12 months per year equals... $1080 per year. The service we provide here at ARAVOSISblog is cheap at any price, but particularly cheap at $1080 per year.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to keeping my eye on the ball.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is my new favorite site. My $1080 is in the mail! I hope pennies are okay?

12:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, dear. oh, dear. I hope those big girls don't get a hold of your tax records, Johnny. Perish the thought. They'd all feel so awful when they see that you live on peanuts and desperately need these constant fundraisers. Maybe buying a few dozen shirts (each) will help them expunge their guilt.

Listen, I don't have $1,080 on me right now, but I did manage to whip up 365 lattes this morning. I've wrapped them up and shipped them to you for a job well done. (Let's hope those plastic lids stay on tight and the delivery person doesn't tilt them.) Enjoy them throughout the year with my gratitude!

12:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

a latte a day. IS there anything elitist than that? It's probably a grande. You should also count the calorie cost. A LATTE A FUCKING DAY? SOme people choose to sponsor children in Africa for a latte a day. I say fie on them. Americablog is where my cash goes.

2:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good answer! As always, you're the cleverest!

Here's another 16.666667 lattes.

2:44 PM  
Blogger Johnny A-List said...

Hey, pinko punko. It's a Venti. Oh, and by the way... YOU ARE NOW BANNED.

I'll have you know that my blog activism echoes around the entire globe, and that INCLUDES AFRICA. Why would you sponsor ONE African child when you can donate to me and help them ALL??


ps. everyone, I appreciate your generosity, but the latte thing was just a metaphor. What I really need is your cold hard cash (or cash equivalents). You see, my tech guy is really, really, really smart. I mean, I have never met a geek as smart as this guy is in my entire life. He's worth FOUR tech guys... which is why he charges almost four times as much as the average tech guy... which is this Fundraising Week is so important.

Just remember: Johnny cannot live on lattes alone!



3:05 PM  
Blogger Hippodameia said...

Lattes aren't worth anything to me, as I don't drink them.

Kinda sums up my feelings towards Americablog too.

4:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If I may, I suggest that you just donate those shipped lattes to your tech guy. Hopefully, he'll work longer hours, although you're both worth every penny I have. The "Oooh, Aaaah" value of the orchid pictures alone makes life worthwhile. Not to mention the pictures of your sister's adorable puppy.

Speaking of your sister, did you take my advice and ask her (and your mother) how she felt about the words "big girl" and "freak?" If so, now that your holidays are free of family visits, we'd be thrilled to have you come eat Thanksgiving dinner with us. Oh, what a thrill that would be! I would be happy to charge the children $100 per plate for the privilege of dining with you.

9:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There are ways of preventing this. Change the colors so it looks similar but not exactly like Americablog.

Make the name a play on his name without actually using his name. Johnny-Ahole would be a start.

1:58 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

If I can afford a latte a day I am happy..Fat ass Aravosis evidently can afford two or three a day.

12:38 PM  
Blogger beervolcano said...

I certainly pay what I think the blog is worth!
Can you guess what it is?

7:51 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home